“ Do this, don't do that.” We easily gravitate to the don'ts. As parents, the question is, does it work? Sure. Sometimes, other times, not so much. If there is one universal experience in parenting, it is this. Why don't they listen? I remember way back when our three toddlers on the beach and putting sandy hands in their mouths, don't do that.

That worked for about a second. Or in high school, don't go out with those people. How did that work out? The obvious alternative to the don't do that is do this. Yes, I'm biased to at least try to be positive and point to the thing to do rather than the thing not to do. I'm fooling myself though to believe that just saying, do this will result in my student doing whatever this is.

So which is it? It's really both. And here's how. The don't do this and the do this are ways to start a conversation rather than to end it. Keep it light. Say to your student, I wanna tell you, don't do this, but figure you may not agree. What do you think? Put it out there that you have an opinion and are open to having a conversation about it.

There is power in that approach. Power to help your student look at different angles. Consider the consequences ultimately. The hope is to help them learn good judgment. That's a gift you can give them.