Why Your College Freshman Needs to Own Their Choices
The big picture: Your child's transition to college isn't just about academics—it's about learning to navigate life independently. The sooner they take ownership, the more successful they'll be.
Why it matters
As Mel Robbins puts it: "Nobody is going to create your college experience for you. You have to learn how to ask for what you need to advocate for what you want."
College freshmen who develop personal agency early:
Build stronger problem-solving skills
Develop resilience when facing challenges
Create healthier relationships with roommates and professors
Graduate with real-world readiness, not just a degree
What parents should know
The temptation is real. When your freshman calls panicking about a missed deadline or roommate drama, every instinct tells you to jump in and fix it.
But here's the truth: Every problem you solve is a learning opportunity you've stolen from them.
Robbins reminds us that students often think they're trapped when facing challenges, but as she says: "You're not trapped. You're not stuck." Your job is to help them see this truth.
Your new playbook
Instead of: Calling the professor about their grade Try: "What do you think your next step should be?"
Instead of: Booking their appointments Try: "Here's the campus health center number. You've got this."
Instead of: Suggesting they transfer schools after one bad semester Try: "Give it a year. What can you change right now to improve your experience?"
The bottom line
Your freshman won't become independent overnight. They'll stumble, make mistakes, and occasionally fail. That's not a bug in the system—it's the feature that builds character.
As Robbins emphasizes: "Take control of your experience. You are not stuck." Help them understand this fundamental truth.
Action step: This week, identify one thing you're still doing for your college student that they could handle themselves. Hand it over.
Remember: The goal isn't to raise a successful college student. It's to raise a successful adult.
Inspired by insights from The Mel Robbins Podcast
