Mastering Mindfulness: Supporting Your College-Bound Child

Your child made it through the college application process and received that acceptance letter. What a relief! After years of anticipation, your student is finally heading to college. As a parent, you've probably been imagining this moment for most of their life. The excitement is real, the possibilities endless.

But alongside that excitement, something else might be creeping in: anxiety and worry. If you're feeling this way, you're not alone—and you're not doing anything wrong.

It's Normal to Feel Anxious

Many people believe anxiety and worry are "negative" emotions we should avoid or eliminate. This couldn't be further from the truth. Here's what I've learned in 30 years of clinical practice: anxiety and worry are simply part of being human. They're not negative emotions—they're emotions that sometimes cause distress.

You won't find a person who never experiences anxiety or worry (and if you do, they might be a robot). The key isn't to banish these feelings but to learn how to accept them while still living your life fully. This is what I call the mindfulness mindset.

Don't Feed the Fire

Anxiety and worry are uncomfortable—no question about it. But the quickest way to make them worse is to fight against them. Here's how this typically plays out: you're worried about your child leaving for college, then you think, "I shouldn't be worried," which only makes you more worried.

Why does this happen? When you try to push away anxious thoughts, you're actually giving them more attention and energy. It's like the classic instruction: "Don't think of a pink elephant." The harder you try not to think about it, the more vivid that pink elephant becomes.

Instead, try acknowledging the pink elephant. Notice it's there without judgment, and naturally, other thoughts will enter your awareness. This is the mindfulness mindset in action: allow the feeling to exist, then gently move on.

Remember: Thoughts Aren't Facts

Anxiety and worry are usually fueled by our thoughts, but here's something crucial to remember: just because you think something doesn't make it true.

You might worry about countless scenarios for your college-bound child, but ask yourself: what evidence supports these worries? We have thousands of thoughts each day, and the ones we focus on gain power. When anxious thoughts arise, try telling yourself, "That's just a thought." You don't have to believe every thought that crosses your mind.

Acceptance Opens Doors

When you allow anxious thoughts and feelings to exist without fighting them, you stop adding fuel to the fire. You can acknowledge your worry—"Yes, I'm concerned about my child"—without letting it paralyze you.

This validation doesn't mean you're weak or overprotective. It means you're human, with a full range of thoughts and emotions, some of which cause distress. There's no need to judge yourself, fight these feelings, or struggle against them.

The mindfulness mindset serves as your anchor, reminding you that experiencing anxiety and worry is part of the human experience. By accepting these feelings rather than resisting them, you create space to support your child's next chapter while taking care of yourself too.